The black hole that is Target....and the solution for world peace.

OK, so has anyone been to Target since their new produce/supermarket unveiling? Now, I love me some fresh affordable produce... but Target has always been my kryptonite. I have never in my life been able to walk into Target and buy exactly what I went in there to buy. This is how it usually goes:

Me: Babe, I need to go to Target.
N.: For what?!
(She already knows what this means, so her left eye has just begun to twitch.)

Me: I need a bra.
N.: But, you have like 20 bras.
Me: I know, but none of them fit right and they're all worn out and yucky.
N.: Then why don't you throw them out?
Me: .... Why are you being so mean? Do you want me to walk around being cranky and angry because my bra doesn't fit and is creating craters in my shoulders??? When I'm all doubled over and looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame, it's going to be all your fault. Do you want me to spend the rest of my life resenting you?!

(This is where she hangs her head in defeat, and also realizes that Target may be having a sale on grills, because it's like January O_o)

N.: Now, listen to me. You promised. You get your bra, try it on and then we are done. 20 minutes. That's it!
Me: K...

So, we walk in and I usually spend about 20 minutes in the dollar section, filling my basket with things that would be just PERFECT for my preschool classroom. Finally, N. yells loud enough to convince me that 2 baskets is more than enough crap. Then we have to pass the Women's section on the way to the Intimates section. Usually, N. can manage to physically shove me past it while repetitively chanting, "You're broke. You don't have money." I then spend about an hour picking out the "right" bra, and another half an hour trying on the 20 bras i picked out. I usually walk out empty handed, because of course none of them fit right. This is where I usually notice  that N. has wandered off. (smiles)

I dump my bras and make a beeline to the home decor section. I run through the aisles grabbing things off the shelf, dragging two carts behind me. I ignore the annoying sound of my cell phone going off in my pocket! Nothing is going to get in the way of me and that Zen Buddha fountain!!!! Bwahahaha!

I turn and there she is. Arms crossed, a little stream of smoke coming out of her ears. I wait as she takes in the damage. I try to make my case for every item in my cart.

Me: Look at this waffle maker. It's on sale! It's only 24.99!
N.: No.
Me: OK, but what about this bed in a bag? It's an entire bed set for 40 bucks and it comes in a BAG!
N.: No.
Me: we're out of dishwasher soap. This one was on sale.
N.: Fine.
Me: We need this. We're almost out of laundry detergent and this one is Eco-friendly.
N.: FINE!!!!!

We leave Target, about 3 hours later. The sun has set. I didn't buy a bra. We now owe $120 more on our Target card, and N. is cursing and stomping all the way to the car.

Target is my kryptonite.

But.... now that they've added walls and walls of frozen artery clogging, cheap "crap we shouldn't eat," guess who's yelling at who now?

So, yea... thanks to Target and their new super duper supermarket, this is what we ate for dinner:

We are SO not allowed in Target, ever again.

I guess she felt really guilty the next day, because N. made the most amazing Kale and chorizo stew. OMG. I wish I could insert taste into this post.

::wipes tear:: I am so proud! To think that wen I met her,
the only spices she had in her kitchen were salt, pepper and Adobo...

Now, she's actually out-cooking me. Yea, I said it. I asked her for the recipe, but she's a tornado in the kitchen and can never remember what the heck she puts in a dish. What can I say? She's a culinary artist! :-)

In other news, our adopted stray cat, Charlie, gave birth to four absolutely adorable kittens yesterday morning. They are addictive. We both keep making excuses to go in and just gaze adoringly at them. It's an avalanche of Muppet-paw cuteness. I can't take it.

Just linger here for a minute, and take in the cuteness. I promise, it will brighten your day... and make all well in the world. 

Namaste bitches.

-Dee