Namaste...

So, my mom was in town this weekend. She claimed she was already planning on visiting, but I'm pretty sure her trip was prompted by my mid-week "I don't have a job yet-I'm broke- I just turned 30 and what the hell am I doing with my life right now" hysterics. Regardless of her reasons, she showed up on Friday afternoon and greeted me at the bus station with her usual complaints of a long bus ride and a giant bag full of food she "brings home" o_O... from her catering job. From her magic bag she produced a pepperoni Stromboli, 3 giant red bell peppers, ham and about 4 different cheeses. Needless to say, one bite of that Stromboli and I forgot what the heck I was so upset about.

On Saturday, N. and I decided to take my mom to a little beach town about an hour away called Rockport. It's a quaint little town filled with cute little shops and delicious seafood.. and of course beaches. We wanted to take her to P-Town for the day, but although my mom has come a very long way in accepting her only daughter is gay, I thought an entire town filled with butches, flamey gay boys and drag queens would be a bit much. So, Rockport it was. We had lunch in a tiny restaurant that looked like it was someone's house and sat by a giant window overlooking the harbor. I had chocolate chip pancakes (because if there's breakfast on a menu, I have an inexplicable compulsion to order it no matter where I am or what time of the day it is), N. had the crab cakes Benedict and my mom had a chicken quesadilla. After lunch, we strolled the main street, walking in and out of shops. My mom and N. were conversing about something.. I think I was part of the conversation, but stopped listening because I was being pulled across the street by the sweet intoxicating smell of Nag-Champa incense burning. I've been to Rockport one time before with N., and the only store I remember besides the amazing hot dog joint and the home made ice cream shop, was this one. The Floating Lotus.

This place.. you walk in and just instantly relax. They sell Tibetan, Indian and Southeast Asian clothing, furniture art and artifacts. Now I hail from NYC where there about 4 or 5 of these types of stores in any given 20 block radius, but The Floating Lotus is... different. I don't know if it's the atmosphere of this lazy vacation town.. or the smell of the salty sea air, combined with they way they've set up the place. But, both times I've walked in the door, I've exhaled in complete relaxation and serenity. There's even this cute little dog that follows you around the store (but not in a naggy "pet me" way.. even the damn dog is serene). They have all these cool instruments you can play with, like rain sticks and singing bowls. There are amazing sculptures and wood carvings... colorful paintings of Buddha that an artist did on roof shingles that blew off a temple. Intricate floor pillows scatter the store and they invite you.. no INSIST.. that you lie down on them for a while and just ..BE.

I want to live in this store.

After about 20 minutes, N. and my mom finally managed to drag me out with my head scarf and handfuls of incense, but not before my Gemini brain latched on and got "inspired". I do this very often in my life. I get these "obsessions" where I eat, breathe and sleep whatever it is I happened to be obsessed with at the moment. So here I am, redecorating our house (in my mind of course... no job remember), digging my yoga mat out of the basement and vowing to start meditating and somehow transport that serene magical feeling of that store into my everyday life. I figure that this may be one of my healthier obsessions (unlike last month's bacon/ice cream obsession), I mean what harm can it do? I don't think our neighbors mind the little Buddha that is now sitting on our porch filling the entire block with the sticky scent of patchouli. I'm sure that N. won't mind if I take it down a notch from my usual wired, overly-dramatic antics. I'm sure that only good can come from regaining some focus in my life. It has to be better than this "falling down the rabbit hole" feeling. At this point I'm willing to try anything to keep me from going into a full blown panic over having $27 in my bank account at the moment. So.. here's to lotus flowers and downward dog poses, to nag-champa and deep breathing exercises... to meditation (aka denial of my current circumstances) and smiling serenely when all I really want to do is scream. Namaste.



-D.